Keeping The Faith

When Jon past away I was woke up by my mother it was 2 in the morning My mom kept shaking me Jon died he is gone!!! I didn't know what to say I just kept shaking and couldn't stop. It was a nightmare come true. The next days to follow no one really said anything too me. I was seen and not heard. My mom was pissed at my dad and I couldn't understand why. My mom went in to shock she didn't know I was there anymore. I didn't understand at the time how she could forget she had another kid. now that I have three and teenagers I can't bare the thought of loosing a child. My faith really started to grow!!! I turned to god and I had always went to church but I never felt like I fit in there. I felt closer to God when I would go for a walk ride my horse I felt like I was talking to a friend. I said my rosary a lot I know that some people think that its a way to worship Mary but its nothing like that for me. If you watch a movie such as The Shack and it inspires y...

My ever changing world !!! My brother had a tough job and for many years I didn't understand how he dealt with the overwhelming demand of being the oldest. I found out one day when he abused me Its a hard fact to have to admit!!! Its something that I haven't been able to talk about for years. My brother died one January day when I was 14 and I was blown away my once very by the book life  started to change. I was upset that he past away but for some reason I couldn't cry!!! my parents never forgave me for that!!!

growing up I was raised like I was in the military for many years. My dad had a extreme temper and could blow up over anything in a seconds notice. He served in the Army for 20 years he served in the Korean war for two tours and Germany for two years later I think he suffered from ptsd . But I had no clue what ptsd was at that time. He had many fights with my mom it was very rough to see my mom have to deal with it. I still have nightmares of seeing her blood on the walls of our home. I never understood why she stayed with him during theses insane times!!! My brother was my rock during theses crazy fights. I would pray and pray for someone to stop by or many times for my dad to die!! I don't like to admit that and it seems crazy for someone to pray for someone to die but I didn't know what else to do. My ever changing world Next time!!!!  

Keeping the faith is a hard statement Its easy to say!!! Doing it is another!!! In 2014 my health has been a issue that has sent me on the fight of my life!! I lost my job because I missed so many days we lost our home and I didn't know if I was going to live. I spent hours praying saying my rosary and received the comfort I was needing. I know there are many of you that will think I'm crazy and that's ok!!! Many times I have wondered myself "lol" Let me start off by telling you my story!!! Next time!!!